All About Me

My back story, in case anyone actually comes here that DOESN'T already know me.

I have kids. I have a LOT of kids. Ok, well, maybe not “a lot by” some standards… but by MY standards, I have a fuck load of kids.

I was 19 when I had my first bouncing baby girl.  Yeah, I may have been young, but she was a life saver in disguise of an adorable fat lil round baby girl.

She was everything I could have wanted and more. I was perfectly happy being her mommy. I married her father when she was 6 months old. Ahhhh…young love.

Gag.

I was young, I was stupid and I made mistakes.  I chalk it up to being human.

But it wasn’t ALL bad.  Or else I wouldn’t have had number 2, 3 and 4!

My marriage was rocky. We were young. Things weren’t sunshine and cupcakes everyday…or even most days.

I had my last daughter when I was 26. I was then a SAHM to four girls.  I just couldn’t WAIT to turn thirty. I didn’t really care, but hey, maybe being more “mature” would help me to stop getting those looks… you know the ones… those judgmental  lil ol' lady types at the store who raise an eye brow and ask if they were “ALL” mine?  To which the thought pattern in my head was…Fuck yeah they are all mine… do you think I would volunteer to take some other persons matching blonde haired blue eyed devils to the grocery store with me for FUN?? Jokes on YOU ol' judgmental lady... i aint THAT dumb! 

Don’t get me wrong, my kids were never the type to run thru the store, grab shit off the shelves or scream randomly… but they still managed to bug the crap outta me on most trips. Still do actually.... hmmm. 

I digress.

SO about the same time I turned 30, and finally started to think about me for a change… my husband and I split. And while I was ok with this decision, actually I had made the decision (and I’m going to TRY to not talk bad about him here). I have never once regretted deciding to move on with my life without him. We were not happy, and my family was suffering.  He became a MUCH better father after we split, and if nothing else, I am grateful for that.  It was the right choice.

But here I was, alone with four kids… ages 11, 9, 7, and 4… no income and no real marketable skills. What the hell had I been thinking???

Hmmmmm

But hey, I found a job. I was in school. I made it work.  And I enjoyed being single too.

I dated. I had fun. I enjoyed my life.  I met another man and I had a beautiful baby boy with him when I was 36 (WOAH! Now... let’s just take a moment to acknowledge the difference between having a baby at 19 and having one at 36….OMFG. Night and day…)

Right now I am just trying to figure out my future.  My job sucks. My crappy lil apartment in the ghetto sucks. And overall, I don’t have much to be happy about. But damn it… I decide daily that I AM going to be happy. I just don’t have time to waste by hating on my own life.  Some days are harder than others, but some days are fucking great…so ill hold on to those great days and continue to work at getting my feet nailed solidly on the ground.

I currently have a simply incredible 19 year old sophomore in college, a sassy as fuck 17 year old high school senior, an almost TOO sweet 15 year old high school freshman, a snippy 12 year old pre-teen in 7^th grade, and to round it all off … a fucking genius 3 year old preschooler.   They rock my world.  They say and do crazy shit. I never thought it was possible to laugh and want to kill one person at the same time… but somehow these kids manage to show me new ways almost daily.

You sure you wanna come along for this ride with me?

Ohhh… come on now… I DARE ya! ;)